This is the 10yr Anniversary Re-release of my blog entry entitled “Black Friday”. So much has changed in my life since then but if this story helps one person, then it’s worth sharing once more.
Black Friday is one of the busiest shopping days in the USA. There are two popular theories as to why the day after Thanksgiving Day is called Black Friday. One theory is that the wheels of vehicles in heavy traffic on the day after Thanksgiving Day left many black markings on the road surface, leading to the term Black Friday. The other theory is that the term Black Friday comes from an old way of recording business accounts. Losses were recorded in red ink and profits in black ink. Many businesses, particularly small businesses, started making profits prior to Christmas. Many hoped to start showing a profit, marked in black ink, on the day after Thanksgiving Day. Whichever theory you choose to believe, Black Friday marks a day that would change my life forever….
It was Thanksgiving Day 2011 and I had decided that for the first time in a long time I was going to spend Thanksgiving with both sides of my family. This meant getting up early enough to get the kids together and be out of the house before noon. Sounds easy enough but is a little more challenging when you’re 7 months pregnant. However, aside from a brief interruption of text messages from my ex-husband who was inquiring on seeing the children prior to us going to visit family, the morning went off without a hitch. It must be stated that while I did not allow him to see the children that morning, I had very good reasoning but none that superseded the fact that a.) It was not his weekend to have the children, b.) It is so ordered in our divorce decree that I have the children on ALL holidays because he did NOT celebrate holidays (at that time), and c.) I am usually accommodating when it comes to the children spending time with their father but 5 minutes notice is inconsiderate and not acceptable period; the end. I chose not to mince words and simply stated he could pick the children up for the weekend. He met that suggestion with a few choice words but otherwise agreed, and that was that…..or so I thought.
First stop: My uncle’s house. I hadn’t planned to eat there, only to visit. However, the kids were hungry and it was kind of nice to be seated at the table with my uncles having dinner, since it seems the last time we all came together for dinner as a family was when both of my grandparents were living.
Next Stop: Grandmas (maternal) house. I had been dreading this stop all day long. My third pregnancy was not planned, expected, or ideal in any shape, form, or fashion; especially since the donor of the 2nd strand of DNA that assisted in the creation of “#3” was none other than my ex-husband & my Grandma was not a fan of his nor is she one to hold her tongue about anything, so I was not looking forward to the verbal lashing I was going to get once she saw my protruding belly. However, to my surprise I was met with open arms and compliments about how pretty I looked at 7 months preggo. There was excitement and joy in the air as we discussed my upcoming baby shower and the baby’s arrival. This had been hands down one fo the best Thanksgivings ever!!
Having now stuffed my face at two locations and having had a wondrous time with both sides of my family, there was only a few things left to do; go home, thank God for a blessed day, and fall asleep. I talked to my sister on the phone for a spell as she started her Black Friday shopping, we concluded our conversations and I crashed on the couch. Around 2am I woke up and headed for my bed. No sooner than my head hit the pillow, the phone rang…
Without proper invite my ex-husband/children’s father/baby daddy for the verbally challenged had showed up at my house unannounced. He proceeded to call and knock on all phones and doors simultaneously like a mad man repeatedly. After several requests for him to leave, I got the bright idea to go outside and attempt to talk to him before my neighbors called the cops. Although much to my trepidation everyone was gone. There wasn’t a car in the parking lot because after all it was Black Friday. However, I knew I did not want him in my house so while he was at one door, I went out the other, locking it so he could not gain entry to my residence at any point in time. What happened next without going into graphic detail of the hour long altercation before I escaped can be summarized as follows: Domestic Battery, Domestic Battery with Intent to Harm a Fetus, Strangulation, and Criminal Confinement followed by countless interviews with prosecutors, victim’s advocates, writing a victim impact statement to the judge, showing up to face my attacker in court, relocation, years of PTSD and finally HEALING mentally & emotionally.
If you or someone you know is or has been the victim of domestic violence; whether it be physical, mental or emotional abuse. Even if “it was just one time”, one time is too many. There are people and resources available to get you to safety and to help you start your healing process but you have to BE BRAVE, BE STRONG, and take the first step. Please call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1800.799.SAFE (7233). This number is available 24/7/365. Visit https://www.thehotline.org/ for more information and still #NoForeheadKissesHere💋
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